


Where is My Mind

by vinesse



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First years being precious, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:59:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4189566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinesse/pseuds/vinesse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi starts to think in concepts of ‘love’ and ‘future’, and in both he sees Suga’s face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where is My Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bouenkyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouenkyou/gifts).



The day Daichi steps into the second gym at Karasuno High, he meets a boy named Sugawara Koushi.

Suga isn’t remarkable in any way, besides the silvery sheen of his hair and the small beauty mark on the corner of his right eye. He’s not remarkable, he’s small for a first year, probably will never be as tall as he wants, and his sets are decent at best. He’s quiet, though not as quiet as the other first year, Azumane Asahi, and Daichi doesn’t understand why he’s so caught up in the way Suga’s eyes shine when he watches the third years practice, face starved for something that Daichi feels bubbling up in his gut.

Suga watches the court like he’ll die if he doesn’t get on it, and Daichi studies the way he runs himself ragged on drills, on sets, on serves. Suga practices during lunch, while Daichi and Asahi watch from atop the school, confident in their future positions on the court, and Daichi wonders if Suga thinks he’ll be replaced someday.

He shakes the thought away, because geniuses are hard to come by, and he doubts that anyone would trade Suga for the world.

* * *

Realization comes at Daichi fast and furious, somewhere between buying Suga and Asahi meat buns after practice, and meeting them both early in the morning for extra practice, breath escaping like ghosts into the dark. It’s a realization that’s been a long time coming, and Daichi can’t believe he’s never even thought about it before, only to realize that he has.

Suga’s beautiful and serene in a way that baffles Daichi, in a way that sends his mind reeling, in a way that makes him watch the other boy constantly. It’s really no surprise that one day Daichi drops his fork at dinner, because it suddenly hits him like a truck that he likes Suga, in a way that he’s never liked anyone else, except maybe Yui back in third grade.

He starts to think in concepts of ‘love’ and ‘future’, and in both he sees Suga’s face.

Daichi’s family looks at their son and start to think, to piece things together. They send him on dates with the neighbor’s daughter, dates that end in failure because of a reason Daichi knows and a reason his parents suspect.

So Daichi puts thoughts like ‘beautiful’ and and ‘handsome’ in a jar, and seals it with ideas such as ‘family’, ‘obligation’, and finally ‘responsibility’. It’s simple, when he calms down enough to look towards his upcoming life, when he thinks about what his parents want. He can’t love Sugawara because Suga is another boy, and Daichi has a path laid out for him. One that doesn’t include a silver-haired boy holding his hands and kissing him in the rain.

The more Daichi thinks about it, during class, during homework, during any time that Suga isn’t near, the worse he feels.

* * *

“Asahi, I think I’m in trouble.”

Asahi watches Daichi pick peppers out of his rice, and nods his head slowly, because he’s been friends with Suga since they were children, and he’s seen this before. “About Suga?”

“Yeah.” Daichi swallows, pushing his food around with a chopstick, before setting them down with a soft ‘click’. “I think I like him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Daichi hesitates, words he couldn’t say bubbling up from behind his teeth, threatening to drown him. “It’s just not right. I shouldn’t like him. I can’t like him. Not like that.”

There’s silence, heavy and hard, before Asahi speaks again. “Who says it’s wrong? Do you think it’s wrong? Or do your parents think it’s wrong? What gives them the right to tell you how to live your life? To tell you that you’re going to grow up, get married to a girl, maybe a blonde one, at twenty-five, have kids, and live your life at a desk job?” Asahi pauses, before he drops his voice lower. “Daichi, you’re the one living your life. Not your parents, or the rest of the world. And if you love Suga, don’t you think you should do what you think is best? Isn’t it better to face the world that hates you at the side of someone you care about, than to turn your back on what’s good for the sake of staying in line?”

There’s a heartbeat, then two, as Daichi stares at Asahi, and Asahi stares back, before Daichi slowly smiles. “Wow, who knew you could speak like that? What a rebel. I think I’m going to have to report your delinquent ways to the Vice.”

“Daichi,” Asahi whines, pressing a palm to his forehead, “I’m trying to be serious here!”

“I know. I heard you.” There was a gust of wind, rattling against the fence that borders the roof, and Daichi focuses down on the ground. In the distance he can see a mop of silver hair sitting on the grass, lunch box beside him, and a volleyball corralled between his legs.

“I heard you.”

* * *

Months slide by slow as molasses, light spring air giving way to sticky summer heat that rises in waves. Daichi and Asahi get more time on the court, Daichi flies through his classes, and Suga kisses him behind the foothill store. It’s a quick kiss, one that’s only chapped lips and red faces, and Daichi spends an entire week before he works up the nerve to kiss him again after practice.

They fall into a routine, lingering glances and kiss-swollen lips before they part during the walk home, Suga blushing and rolling his eyes while Daichi grins like he’s been given the world. It’s a routine that continues through the falling of the leaves, a routine that Asahi sighs at, but he still allows them to kiss behind the protection of his broad back.

It’s a routine that leads to sleepovers during the weekend, sleepovers where Asahi lounges on the floor and Daichi spreads out on the bed, Suga on top of him, flipping through a comic book while the other two bicker over games and food. It’s a routine that leads to before-bed kisses and good-morning kisses and any kisses they can slip in before Asahi starts pretending to gag behind their backs.

It’s a routine that leads to Daichi slowly taking that jar out from the back of his mind, blowing dust from it, and unscrewing the lid to take out words like ‘beautiful’ and ‘handsome’ and most of all ‘love’, and line them up in a careful row. He takes words like ‘obligation’, ‘responsibility’ and crumples them in the trash where they belong.

Winter comes and the first snow has fallen before Daichi’s parents stop telling him to take the neighbor’s daughter out for dinner. It must be something that spreads across his face when he opens the door to find Suga standing on the porch, or something in his voice, the soft dip that happens when he calls Suga’s name. It’s his mom that sits him down at the table, grabbing his bag as he tries to rush out the door to school, but it’s his dad that comes up to ruffle his hair and say that he better treat this boy right.

Sometimes, when Daichi looks over to Suga when they’re walking to class, he sees his future in the other boy’s eyes, and he wonders why he was ever worried.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a lovely request, and I'm so happy that I was able to fill it! I hope that you enjoy reading, because I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
